Hot Stuff

I'm bored, so I'm sharing a story from the Waller wedding. And as a bonus its a story about how hot I am.

On the day of the wedding all the groomsmen were doing their groomsmen thing with the groom so I was left to my own devices a bit. I ended up going down by the pool with mother Waller and her good friend, the preacher's wife. They were taking in the sun, but I know better, so I threw on a t-shirt and took my nail polish down to do a last minute touch-up.

We, of course, wound up having that discussion about how my nails are freakish and when the ladies last had manicures and if they were showing their toes at the wedding. Around then the preacher showed up. We moved on to wardrobe and the ladies told me about their dresses and I showed them my polish to describe mine. Naturally, I have polish that is the exact color of my dress- this is the 3rd wedding that dress has attended. After some oohs and aahs and more description the preacher interjects, "Well, Abby, I'm sure you have a very nice dress, but I hope you'll forgive me if I like my wife's better."

I say, "I don't know. This is a pretty fabulous dress. I understand that you are required to love your wife's, but you haven't seen this thing yet. Its amazing."

He insists he'll like his wife's best and we all laugh about how whipped he is after some 40 years of marriage.

Fast-forward 4 or 5 hours to the cocktail hour after the ceremony, which was great, in part because the preacher is a funny, personable guy. I'm chatting with someone, plowing through my 2nd or 3rd drink because its hot as hades out, when the preacher sort of sidles up to the conversation. He leans in all secretive like and gives a cheesy glance in each direction like he's looking for an FBI surveillance team. Then he says, "That is a great dress." and he walks off.

I collapse into a giggle fit, which no one understands, because no one could really hear him, and none of them were out by the pool with us. I considered explaining it, but finally decide to go with 'you had to be there' because it mostly just sounds like a guy in his 60s hitting on a 22-yr-old. But whatever. Its pretty funny. And who could blame him? I'm hot shit.